Paula Christoph’s column concentrates on positive and inspirational write-ups every second Friday in the New Era newspaper.
Posts by Paula Christoph:
Ageing is a natural part of life but it seems the older we get, the more we try to fight it. As a young child, I couldn’t wait to grow up. The other day I saw a VERY INSENSITIVE comment on a rape story posted to the New Era Facebook page. It was an open letter written by a victim of child abuse to her perpetrator, who was also her uncle. From the beginning of time, the principles of Ubuntu have guided African societies, but in regards to the treatment of widows, it is almost non-existent. It has become quite acceptable in Africa for in-laws to evict widows from their homes, leaving them with no roof over their head – no means of income and no support. A few days ago, one of my loved ones asked another “when are you having a baby?”, and I cringed, because it can be a very insensitive question to ask someone. Customer service in this country is a joke. It’s something we’ve most likely all experienced, and the saddest part is that it’s been like this ever since I started to understand the concept of customer service. I don’t know about you, but I am not okay with it! We don’t give ourselves enough credit sometimes. I was reminded of this myself while advising a friend. She looked a bit down, almost like she had been crying. Someone was venting to me the other day about how tired they were of negotiating their price with potential clients. He has a small business that offers a variety of services. A colleague said to me in passing the other day: “we are here to work, not to make friends”. Many people will tell you that is how they go about their work life; they feel friendships in the workplace are unnecessary because you are there for the single purpose of making money. According to psychological experts, you can’t control your feelings but you can control how you react to your feelings. I met someone one day, who said: “Women only go for men with money”. If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me how married life is, I would be Oprah by now… Lol. I was opening up to my friends the other day about how I fear for my daughter’s safety whenever I think of sending her away for the holidays. When Christine Mboma got nominated for the BBC sports personality of the year award, I was overjoyed to read the news, and couldn’t wait to share it with listeners on my radio show the next day. “Who you are when no one is watching still matters more than you know.” Someone once asked why some women stay in relationships for longer periods of time than they’d like to before getting married. Going through life wanting the approval of our loved ones seems to be one of those things most, if not all, of us in our own ways have in common; it’s human, I guess. I have not met a single person in life who takes criticism well. Have you? It’s not nice to hear how “flawed” one is, or how one should improve on certain attributes about oneself. I’ve been noticing lately on social media, conversations and memes about cutting ties with friends who don’t reciprocate the effort you feel you put into friendships. Someone once said cousins are usually the first friends we have as children and end up being our forever friends in life. “Choose your peace.” A friend said that to me in a conversation about life and all its happenings the other day. It stuck on me that one should pick your battles wisely, and choose to walk away from anything that hinders your peace.